Headaches, panic attacks, and more headaches

Previously on Three Little Birds, Robin and Jay had just started their 2^nd round of IVF…

At this point, it was finally time to start back on BC for round 2. We were both so excited! After a month, we went in to check if Robin was ovulating, and unfortunately she was. They also found a cyst on Robin's right ovary. All of which put us back another month.

After the delay, we were good to go. Yay! This time they put Robin on a “long” protocol, which involves being on Lupron for a couple of weeks (as opposed to a couple of days) before starting the stim meds. If Lupron ever made a commercial, a voiceover would most likely explain its three most common side effects:  headaches, headaches, and in some cases, headaches. We started up the injections again every evening, and after two weeks we went in to make sure we were ready to start stim meds. But once again, the hormone levels suggested ovulation, and they had discovered another cyst, this time on the left ovary. The good news was they said we could come back in a week (instead of a month like last time) to check and see if things had changed.

 Meds Round #2

 River making me a sticker chart for Round #2

A week later and the cyst was BIGGER. The doc told us it likely meant the hormone levels had increased as well. He said they would call later in the day with blood results, but that most likely we would be pushed back another MONTH, all while continuing the headache-inducing Lupron.

[Robin] "This was probably one of the lowest points in the whole process for me. I had a panic attack on the way home, called Jay, scared him half to death, and was about five minutes from driving myself to the ER to be sedated. I got home and laid in the shower until the water turned freezing cold, then crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep. Three hours later I got a call that my hormone levels were stable. They had me come back in the office that afternoon and drain the cyst. This was one of the most painful procedures I have ever had (no meds), and I've had a few, but at this point I didn’t care because it meant we could start again!"

I have to say how invaluable the love and support of our friends and family (those who knew we were going through the process (I tell my business too much so there were quite a few people who knew about our ”journey”). I have to say especially how much Ashley and Kim meant to me during this time. Below is a pic of us and Olive Sue (Ashley’s baby conceived through IVF – now 6 mo). Ashley had been through two cycles and Kim had been through six (three fresh, three frozen until she got Jake – now 2), and they were a wealth of knowledge, love, and support.

The support was incredible. I remember them both saying to me more than once, “there is just nothing that is going to make this better” or “This was the hardest part for me.” That may not sound like encouragement, but it was exactly what I needed at the time to validate my feelings. Throughout this whole process, I had a lot of guilt about my feelings. Nobody was dying. Some people never have kids. Some people don’t have a devoted spouse like I do. For all of these reasons, I would tell myself I didn’t deserve to feel the way I was feeling, so it was invaluable to have them around. I highly recommend to anyone going through IVF or infertility to find friends who have been through it.

[John] "I feel the need to also especially thank Ashley and Kim. As supportive as I tried to be, it's impossible to fully understand unless you've gone through it yourself. They were amazing and I owe them a great deal of gratitude."

IVF round #2 was much easier, partially because we knew what to expect and partially because I didn’t get overstimulated and was in far less pain. They put me on the lowest doses of both Gonal-F and Menopour. This meant I had to stim much longer, but without getting sick this time.

 If you hit a capilary in your belly, it is not pretty.

[John] This was a shot Robin did. Not me.

A note about acupuncture: I have to say that I attribute the success of this cycle in large part to acupuncture. My acupuncturist specializes in fertility and was such a blessing each week. I firmly believe she helped my hormones stabilize even though the cyst got bigger and kept me sane during cycle #2. On the day of my transfer, I went to see her immediately before and after, she triggered points to make my uterus homier for the embryos and to make them more likely to implant. When I came back the second time that day and told her that we had transferred three, she said, “I better be careful then because they are likely to all implant” (and she was right!).